This week I am reading Good to Great by Jim Collins. I chose this book as part of my HR education and enrichment series. While it can be technical at times, the underlying research data about what turns a good company into a great one is extremely valuable. The principles included seem so simple in some ways – get the right people on the bus and the wrong people off the bus, is an example. If you focus first on getting the right people in your company and focus second on the direction you want to go, your company will be successful. If you pick the direction first and then scurry around trying to fill it with people second, you’ll never be great. Seems simple, but time and time again I’ve seen mediocre employees get rewarded and star players walk out the door. The company will never be great if you don’t fill the bus with employees who share your vision and determination to succeed at all costs. It’s not about compensation (even though it is important); it’s about the intrinsic reward of feeling like you’re all in it together, reaching toward a common goal.
One principle in the book Collins refers to is called “The Stockdale Paradox.” It’s in reference to Admiral Jim Stockdale who was a POW during the Vietnam War. When asked how Stockdale survived the 8 years of imprisonment and torture, he replied, “I never lost faith in the end of the story.” When asked, “Who didn’t make it out?” he replied, “The optimists.” At first, this seems like a paradox. What’s the difference between having unwavering faith and being an optimist? He goes on to explain that the optimists kept putting a deadline on the suffering. They would try to reassure themselves they would be out by the next holiday or whatever, but when the day would come and go, they would set a new date in the future. Stockdale says the optimists died of a broken heart. Those with unwavering faith survived because they faced the brutal reality of their current situation. They lived in “the now” and had complete faith they would prevail in the end.
While I think there is a wonderful lesson here for businesses, I am more struck by how this principle applies to life. When you put a deadline on your happiness – the “I’ll be happy when” mentality – I think you do yourself a disservice. Optimism is great unless it keeps you blind and ignorant. I’m not sure how convincing it is either when you’re in the thick of it. I’ve been in hell before and reminding myself it would all be over by whatever date in the future, did nothing for my state at the time, other than give me a flicker of hope. I’m not discrediting the power of hope because sometimes hope is what keeps you going one more moment or one more day. But, you can’t endure, you can’t survive, you can’t live on hope.
Faith is how I got through hell. I fought my way through Dante’s nine circles of hell knowing without a doubt that I would get to the other side. I was not my circumstances at the time – I was something stronger and getting stronger with each battle. I didn’t pin my survival on a hope; I pinned it on my belief that I would win. Instead of hoping that I would be happy at some point in the future, I knew that I was already happy. I chose to face my reality and I chose to be victorious.
There are times when it’s not easy to confront reality. This is why people become addicted to drugs, alcohol, and food because addictions help us to avoid reality. Immersing ourselves in avoidance and denial sends a message to ourselves on a cellular level that we have given up. It doesn’t help to ignore the cold hard facts of your reality. Face it head-on. Stare it down like an animal in your path. Have faith that you will not only get out alive, but you’re going to prevail as a stronger person. You will be a changed person – not a defeated one.
There is a difference. Optimists repeat affirmations and hope for something different. Those with unwavering faith take action to get to where they intend to go. It’s not easy. There are times when you’re not sure what is on the other side or at the end of the story. You just know you need to keep going. You face each day with determination and unwavering faith that you will prevail no matter what monsters seem to block your path. No one can have power over us without our permission. Our circumstances do not define who we are – we do.
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